he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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