It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This show inspires me to have sex in space
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize