you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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