He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
