She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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