Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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