So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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