So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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