You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
