Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
