i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
