I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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