what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
