its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
