I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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