i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
