at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
