Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
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