I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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