..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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