I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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