i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize