i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
