a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
