Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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