wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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