I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
