why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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