Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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