Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
