I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are we still banned from the library?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
