Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize