Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
