Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
