I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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