It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
