His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
