in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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