Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
