I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
