i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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