I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
