Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
