so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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