Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was CRYING into my vagina
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
