After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
