went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
