i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
