I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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