sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
