its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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