Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
