this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
