It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We are two peas in an std pod
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
