She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
