I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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