Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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