the day after is always just damage control
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
