He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
im on a boat
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