; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
