i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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