someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You smell like stripper and shame
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
