are you so shy because you have an std?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
