I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
