i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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