Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
