"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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