dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my shit smells like andre
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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