She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
