I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
