Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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